Vanity has a price. Not that i 'm proud to proclaim being one of its victims but i think I've been fairly out-of-control this month. It has absolutely nothing to do with the GSS since most of my loot are undiscounted.

Something really big happened on Thursday, the fateful day i decide to end the emotional tug-of war and procrastination that's been bothering me for years. People closest to me saw me through it, though the support wasn't a literal hand held gesture, i felt understood and convinced. I don't know how to comprehend the importance for this big decision I've made not only because of the price involved, but i think, really, is going to change my life for the better. But of cause, this is something that i won't be proud to share to anyone. It's personal...very personal

of all things i'm skeptical about, i'll have to try like hell to believe this is gonna work (:

In a moment of impulse and 'lunaticism' (as jiayilim puts it). 

My pillar of strength...

my one and only mummy.

The look of jealousy.

Dad's just plain hilarious when he's not trying to pep-talk us.

The happy couple <3

fe and i refrained from appearing before the cam to save ourselves from embarrassment. lol. and credits to limsie and my trusty Olympus pen for the awesome photos!

The monthly 'NAIs' gathering resumed following my return, 'cept in the absence of ah leow (aka Nai Zun).

We really wonder what she's been up to these days. I mean, how can she be busier than me?! lol.

.. yuan ding has finally resumed his post for good (: excellent.

 HLY trying every bit to give that "dreamy" look to compliment the 'soft focus' effect in my trusty Pen.

 Da nai finally coming clean with her indecent association with Yuan ding, right under HLY's nose. Tsk Tsk Tsk... do i smell some desperate housewives drama here?? 

i hope it doesn't always have to be the 3 of us all the time.

Shout-out to Ah Leow:

A few more nights like this your position will be CHANGED FOREVER!!

not that we never warn you. hehehehe (:






On recieving the wrong signals: -It suddenly struck me that i have been too imaginative about the relationship i'm having with someone. be it that we've been too prideful, or that i've been giving-in to my own ego. This is never gonna work because every step we're taking is built on calculation, now that i see it. Why should affections and feelings be measured? It's been warped. We're both wrong and i don't think it's a good idea to continue this ambiguity. I don't function on a basis of no-strings-attached if my real feelings are involved. If anything, i'm answerable to myself in this, and i don't want to be left puzzled and doubted at the end of the day. One of these days, i'm gonna have to work up all my courage to make known what i really feel. soon.

Snapshots!

Bought a new DSLR equivelant recently. It's the Olympus Pen (new version). Don't quite know the exact model and description but i'm VERY happy with the awesome photo-quality. Of cus, i'm comparing it with lame digi-cams. This isn't the only item in my bandwagon though, you know what i'm saying? LOL.

Nothing beats spending ample time with your loved ones. One dinner, one night of laughter and reminiscing the good times, the hard times. It's times like these that we're thankful for, not just cus of the Yorshire Pie, Spinning-salad or Lawry's Cut we have before us.... okay, yeah, maybe those made up the major highlight of our night. Oh well...

Upcoming Dinner date with my folks shall be on the 26th (:

Reflections 101

It was indeed a tumultuous month spent in PTP. My observations just about confirmed my beliefs and impressions. I'm just happy i wasn't wrong and most of all the projects completed reasonably well.

I know my reflection sounds ambiguous but i cannot be penning a whole month of chaos in here. Ask me (: and if i find you good company, i'll let you in about it.

Speaking of ambiguity, there's this theory that's been spinning on and off my mind for the past weeks. The Idea of  a "window opened; window closed" opportunity. Something inspired from Limsie --i know how ironic it is coming from her who hasn't exactly been in a r/p before but i gotta give it to her because it's too insightful and apt for me to ignore.

So, the theory goes; in order for a relationship to blossom, timing is very important. I think very superficially, the opportunity describes the status of a guy and a girl being both single, and that calls for a good opportunity to be together - the opposite applies.

I took it a bit further. It does not have to be limited to the availability. Sure everyone who's single has their windows opened, but if feelings don't collide...it's as good as nothing.

Taking it further, there's this 2 persons who are obviously attracted to each another but doesn't go beyond that for whatever reasons after some time. The one with the window opened is ready while the other, well, just has issues or simply is still not ready.

Major pity.

To cut the long story short, it's situations as such that makes you doubt yourself, inevitably. Having given deep thoughts about this, i guess it's nothing too sad about because ultimately no one's to say whether you're worthy or not because if you really are, someone's gonna see that someday and make you see that as well without hesitation or reservations.

If a second look isn't enough, then maybe it's never gonna be enough. So why the ambiguity?