Tides change like weather. Plans don't materialize as they should be. The sad thing is we don't always have the luxury of accommodating every change be it in relationships, careers, businesses, health and happiness. The only consolation is maybe finding the constant amidst the unsettled. In time, we will learn to muster the ability to fight change or at least condition ourselves to minimize the damage. And if we're really that lucky, we may even emerge unscathed, though hardly possible. Anyhow, I do hope Limsie gets to jet off for her much anticipated retreat as planned. For me, I'm happy as I am here and now (:

[Tuesday 25.01.2011] Nothing's better than ending the evening with my two biggest loves - Bee and Starbucks!
..Bee 'surprised' me with a massage treat in Town too (: how not to love?

[24.01.2011 Monday] Star of the night at Bayang.
T'was a night of joyful camaraderie and catching-up for the Willtechies...something that's been missing for quite some time. Couldn't be more pleased with the contented smiles and the happy tummies :)

Received an unexpected call yesterday from the long lost Collin. Exaggeration intended cus it really felt like eons ago since we spoke. The familiar voice ( though much weathered compared to the clown he used to be) sent flooding images of the good ol' days we camped in the karaoke together with Glyn and Jacky. I do miss the lot. lol. and then he dropped me a huge bomb --- what can possibly change in a year, my goodness? apparently a lot. I'm more than prepared to be filled in with details :P And I'm so looking forward to meeting them (finally) this Monday together with Bee. i could tell they're really excited to meet him as well (:  yay!

reflections...

hmmm, how should i start... a recent incident sort of catalyzed a thought; are certain friendships really worth the while? 

 It has never been an issue to me because I've always been clear of who matters to me most. The rest are just friends so how i treat you pretty much represents your weight in me. I'm never a mean person but I am guilty of faking it sometimes. Now that i think about it, I am still faking it to some. And it really takes one who sees through me to point that out. I'm glad he did because I do have a problem. I'm too used to accommodating the unimportant and i'm too obliging. Sometimes i feel bad because i know very well that certain friendships will never progress beyond companionship and fun. And knowing that they don't even stand up for you and protect your interest, really says something. What's with the insensitivity and avoidance? Did they even care about how i feel? Hardly i guess. I feel sad and angry at the same time for allowing myself to oblige time and again, outing after outing. Sure i used to be bored and I needed their company, but not anymore. Companions come and go so why should I be any different? If i were a true friend to them, they would've watched my back; they would've been more sensitive to my feelings. Of cus it's not always just about them. I was wrong too, I didn't take such friendships seriously and I was superficial with them. So now i'm offering restitution by opting out. I'm not ungrateful for the times they have filled my empty spaces, but unfortunately my attention can only be dedicated to a very special lot now.... and most importantly, I want to keep my friendships real. For the rest, let's just keep a cordial distance.

Two more weeks to CNY and why am I not surprised by the lack of excitement... I can do a mental rundown of what's gonna happen...nothing short of the Predictable and Routine. bleahhh.. and a weekend out with mummy dearest in Orchard really took a toll on the both of us. It's no longer enjoyable rubbing shoulders with bargain hunters anymore. it's giving us massive headaches.

The only plaudible part about the whole cny thing is maybe the ang baos. come on, admit it..who doesn't. you probably don't because you're married and disgruntled at the fact that you're no longer at the receiving end, period.

if i have the money, though, i would rather go on a short trip :)
  


all dressed up for shopping with mumsy! <3

 



mad love this scarf i got from Accessorize a few weeks back ;) had to get it cus it was on 50%. Woot!



 
Bee came over on Saturday night to continue our movie-marathon. Had an awesome weekend doing movie marathons with Bee and it's amazing that no matter how much time we spend together it just doesn't seem enough. We watched 'The pursuit of Happiness', 'Precious', 'The Notebook' and 'Dear John'. oh! and 'Bruce Lee, my brother' on Sunday. Was a good mix of the inspiring and heart wrenching. As usual I fell asleep halfway through 'dear john'... must be the nice warm pillow i had :) OR that the storyline's less than mediocre according to bee who still sat through it despite having watched it before. He never fails to amaze me with his ability to stay awake in movies no matter how tired he is... unbelievable.




Jonathan Ang experimenting on the new bad boy 'mohawk' hair...and he's dead serious about it.

 

coolest ;)

 
 
  

Thank goodness Rella's finally back! at least we get to sleep-in on Sundays <3 She was telling us how she wanted to come back after 3 days cus she was so used to her life here... oh, what has urbanisation done to her... lol. i gotta say her absence really made us appreciate her help more than ever.

Was pure bliss to sip coffee and have breakfast at the pond area on a breezy Sunday morning :) Bee enjoyed looking at the fishes so much...something of cus i can never understand cus everytime i look at the fishes they just remind me of the awful amount of filth and bugs beneathe the platform that we were forced to clean up. thanks, but no thanks.

We wanted to eat at Holland V after bee's class in the evening but the parking was so pathetic there. kinda expected but i still have to rant. Waiting for parking lots is top 10 on my hatelist. plus, i really ahe driving around in circles...So we sped off to Vivo city and ate at Barcelos. The food there is kinda overpriced for the serving. So if you're looking to fill your funger, then don't go there. service was quite bad too. hunger and annoyance together can be lethal if you know what i mean. LOL.

Was super super late for work today cus of some last min admin arrangements that have to be done at home ..plus a ginormous jam at Mandai. did i mention i hate driving earlier?? I REALLY do. Oddly, after a week of flats and pumps, i'm having trouble walking in elevation. i mean heels. i wask walking in an awkward manner.. absolutely unglam.

Had an awesome time catching up with friendsie and Jm last last Saturday in Taka!!

 

been missing you girls!

 



A lot is happening for us lately. More so for me...and Bee's new exciting plans forward. This is really going to be an awesome year for the both of us. We're going to make everything work! Whatever it is, i'm glad we're in this together, believing and supporting each other in everyway :) It's all about having that vision of us, living a life we wanted and being so impossibly happy. The thought of it just makes me squeal in excitement :)

That's the general.. As for me, i'm finally ready for a leapt. it's not going to be easy i know.. but i need to do something for myself now. I need to try to find the right job and build my own career in my own way. I want to be able to step outside and make a difference for myself. Now is the right time because i'm finally getting the blessings from my parents. and of cus, bee has been really supportive too, though i know he'd really rather i work for him instead. hahaha... i feel pampered because there's one more person fighting to protect me :) so i'm not afraid of what's to come for me with all the love i'm getting now.

Wish me luck in my job search, k? :)

Sidetrack a bit, i'm quoting someone from his blog. This is nothing embarassing. In fact i really think he meant it when he typed this, despite his distasteful record of being a player in the past :P

"I've always loved to be deeply in love with someone.. someone I can spend the rest of my life with.. Someone I can Love God with.. Someone who will be my all weather wife.. Who'll build up our dreams together.. I'm sure there's one out there whom I will fall crazily in love with and she'll also do the same.. someone who loves watching soccer with me, who loves watching me play.. Who loves watching movies with me at home.. Who loves the simple things...."

This was in 2008. Those are simple expectations coming from a complicated person whom i've come to love, head over heels with.

Reading about you and your past, and sieving out stuff like that from the tonnes of entries you've had... only confirms one thing, that i was right about you. beneathe all that doodle and mess, you're just a piece of white paper. and ever since the night at M. barrage, i've been wanting to erase all that for you..because i know somewhere inside you're an exception :)

So, congratulations bee! you found yourself an 'all weather girlfriend' ;) and the best part is i'm just as crazily in love as you are, PLUS, i also love watching you play soccer, and whatever simple and lame things we do together. even if i fall short of being everything you wished for, I'll make it up to you in other ways :) but under one condition... don't ever doubt me. LOL :P

Cus nobody does it better than B.B.M

This post is totally random.



Neh neh ni poo poo......
i don't care if you like me. i'm gonna fart in your face anyways.



this is what i'm talkin about...
I don't do no work. I click the mouse and burst bubbles.




So step over me dude, this is where i'm gonna crash t'night.  

 

get me outta this fugly get-up. I rule the world just the same without this tacky crown.

I'm a ONE MAN SHOW, y'all!





Back to work :(



Been experiencing the worst of my PMS this month. if i've had any issue with controlling my emotions, then it has officially hit the level below rock bottom now. i need to find the better part of me desperately, i need to be in control cus i am pissing myself off every single day for the past week for throwing bitchfits. I can hardly keep up with myself and i do irrational stuff that i attempt to rationalize later on, but fail. I can do better than using the same disgusting line of "oh it must be my pms". i secretly roll my eyes everytime i say that. it's the lamest excuse ever for a hot-tempered person like me.

i need to breathe. and i need to stop being mean to my boyfriend. i'm truly sorry for being such a pain :(

oh well, there are greater things in life to celebrate for than the coming of my period... Like having a ball of a fun time at MG with the kids and everyone else :) it's like a home away from home.

Looking at the kids (though i'm not much older than some of them) reminds me of a time many years back. I really don't know what i was doing with my life then. I didnt like it when asked about my plans in life. I swear it's harder than an algebra question. But looking at them, they're all doing what they like and there's so much passion. but to be honest nobody really asked us what we really wanted to do before. all of us were just floating in our own little bubble of comfort, going in the exact same direction that leads to a supposed successful life..which we probably won't realise how scary it can be until we get there. but that's all good, floating is happiness for us. that's innocence. We'll probably be happy when we arrive, but we'll all look the same in the end - worn, resolved and practical. that's what most of us are now i guess, not that we're already 40 and dying but it's just sad to see some of our peers being sucked into this mean cycle of corporate slavery yet are surprisingly resolved to that fate.

we all know how society makes us conventional and complicated people. we read about it everyday. but we also know that it's not the end of the world :) we can still dream at 30, 50 or 80. we just need the guts to..and the determination to follow through. and if you're that lucky, you'll find someone who values and protects that for you :)

..and i can safely say that i'm one of the luckiest around :)

2011; resolutions & sinful desires

New Yeaar's eve was quite a blast. Daddy gave us a last min half-day off on Friday and off we zoomed to MBS :D That was after a hearty feast prepared by our very own cooking mama (Ruxin) :P We had Home-made buttered pasta, Caesar Salad, Roasted chicken and Tiramisu..just to name a few. Mighty Yummy!! Peacy and i were SO FULL we could hardly move. So instead of joining the crowd, I had a fantastic time jamming in the hotel room with jiayi lim, Fefe and Bee. The view from mum n dad's room were uber awesome with a full frontal view of the bay and all. We had smaller rooms cus of the very obvious fact that the place was gravely overcrowded. the view wasn't fantastic cus we were facing the back overlooking the flyer. Still, we were happy at least we got a room each and we had so much fun hanging out together and dining at RISE with my cousins. All i can say is that i'm truly blessed this year. I'm happy... actually, more than happy!

Peacy and Ruxin!

As for resolutions, I'm having this hilarious recollection of how i destroyed that hand-written piece of resolutions i wrote halfway through last year. so funny. i can never comply with regulations even those set by myself. I need a human-regulator in my life :) and i don't mean my parents. lol.



Neverthelesss, i'm gonna attempt again this year :)


Matty's 2011 Resolutions

I ; STOP IMAGINING THAT I AM RICH. In laymen terms, i shall attempt to save more money. I shall not tap into my reserves every other month and I shall learn to live within my means, after setting aside the savings. first one already soooooooo difficult :(

II ; PRETEND LIKE I LOVE MY JOB. It's an open secret :) I loathe it. BUT, for the love of my great father and maybe for the benefit of all mankind I shall attempt the impossible of selfless sacrificion again. Endurance. Zeal. and a hell lot of patience is required... i'm just kidding. On a more serious note, i just wana make my dad happy. It's that simple :) and it doesn't hurt to try.

III ; LIVE. HEALTHY. self explanatory :) Hello Bee!!!! this applies to you too! Less green tea, supper and oily food!!! and when are we going to start jogging together?

IV ; CCE -- I hope this is going to be a breaking year for us :) been throwing in a lot of exciting ideas the past weeks with Bee. But first off, we need consistent buying trips to keep things going. Oh! and clearing ex-stock for the last trip :P it's about time i put my heart into it.

V ;  HONOURING THE DIVINE 'Fs. I never knew it's such a tough thing to do. For the Family it's not so bad cus ample time is spent over the weekends at home with my folks..those are enjoyable family time on entire Sundays...The best part is, I love Bee's family too :D Friends wise... that's the tough part. Apart from the seamless assimilation of my bestest friend and boyfriend, i'm still unsure about the rest. It always seems like there's not enough time for the rest. In fact, we hardly get enough of spending time alone for now...and it's not like it's a bad thing :) but like i said, it's only when you walk the talk that you finally understand the difficulties. I shall offer my humble apology to those i dissed for neglecting friends for love. i feel you now...totally. hahhahaa. but but but, i'm not gonna just sink into the situation, i'm gonna work hard for the friendships i care about too, esp for my JMs and NAIS. I still do heart you all with whatever's left of my very divided attention. So...please don't give up on me yet, kay?

VI ; LOVING & BEEIng LOVED. I know I'm not the most perfect girlfriend in whole wide world... there's still this immaturity in me that has to be corrected...the paranoia and impatience. Also, i should try to stay awake at the movies from now on :) hahahaa.

..for all the hardwork and efforts invested, there's got to be some form of accompanying rewards right :)

LOL.

behold my list of SINFUL DESIRES fro 2011! ahahhahahaaa..





PROENZA SCHOULER, Patent PS1





MULBERRY French Purse in Black Drummed Patent



 or

Chestnut soft Sponge

MULBERRY Charm Bracelet in Gold Metal



MULBERRY Edie Bracelet in Black Heavy Grain



MULBERRY Bow Friendship Bracelet in Black Waxed Cord





MULBERRY Bayswater Phone Charm


i know i know.... i'm such a sucker for MULBERRY.





TIFFANY & Co 1837 Ring Titatnium in Midnight

 

TIFFANY & Co Double Ring Necklace









I think i just busted Number 1 on my resolutions list. oopsie :P